I'm Sorry, Cas
by StillNotOverDoomsday394
Summary: I was slightly disappointed in "The Hunter Games" when Metatron was chiding Dean because I thought he was going to mention Castiel when he said, "And my personal favorite..." My take on how it would have went if he had mentioned Castiel. Pre-Slash Destiel.


"And my personal favorite, how Castiel's life has gone spiraling downhill since he met you," Metatron says grinning despite being tied to a chair, "It's not enough that you bring your brother down with you. No, you have to go bigger. You have to corrupt an angel of the Lord. You know if Castiel never saved you the first time, he would have never been in this mess and neither would you and your brother. You practically ruined the guy's life. Castiel I mean. You ruined your brothers life too, but lets focus on Castiel. He raised you from Hell, and all you did was put him through it. He rebelled against Heaven for you. He gave up everything. He was hunted. He believed in you, and you let him down. You even drove him to working with a demon, but that might just be a Winchester family tradition. He forgot who he was and willingly saw the Devil himself in his head all for you. Then he lost his his mind. Then he went to Purgatory and stayed away from you just to protect you. He is so loyal, yet treat him like crap, only calling when you need him for your own selfish purpose. Ever call, just because you can, just for his company? No, you don't. Anyway, he finally got out of Purgatory just to literally fall from Heaven and become a human. Sure you found him and took him in, but you kicked him out the next day. You left him all alone in a foreign world to suffer on his own. Now that he's an angel again it's not much better. He living off of stolen grace. He may look fine, but he's slowly fading. And soon enough he'll die again because of you." Dean looks at Metaton with a murderous look anger boiling over.

"You were the one who stole his grace!" Dean yells.

"That's just a formality. You drove him to want to prove himself. So he failed again. Sounds like you and Sam are rubbing off on him." Metatron says. Dean grabs an angel knife off the table. He looks at Metatron with bloodlust.

"I never got the chance to show you how I felt about you stealing Cas's grace." Dean says dangerously.

"You gonna cry, Winchester?" Metatron smiles.

"No." Dean says with a humorless laugh. He looks Metatron in the eyes. "But you are. Because you see, I don't give a rat's a** about you." Dean holds the blade to Meyatron's chest unmoving. "So you're gonna tell me every d**n step to get this thing off my arm weather you do it willingly or not."

"I revert back to what I told you before. I'll give you a step one at a time, and each step will cost you," Metatron says. Dean smiles once again.

"You know I was kind of hoping you'd say that," Dean says pressing the angel blade slightly into his chest cutting a strait line down to his stomach. Metatron's screams fill the room bringing much joy to Dean. Suddenly Castiel brakes to door down with Sam behind him. Sam pulls Dean away from Metatron holding him in place. Castiel unties Metatron and puts him in what the Winchesters' call 'Holy Handcuffs'.

Dean calms down, and immediately feels regret. Metatron was supposed to be returned to heaven whole. Now they've lost any lead they had to getting rid of the Mark of Cain, and it's all his fault just like everything else.

Later, Dean goes to see Claire to talk to her like Cas had asked. She sets him up. When he gets there two people are ready to attack him. However, Clarie changes her mind and warns him before the attack so he fights back hard. She begs him not to kill them as he beats them. He wants to to kill them, but he restrains himself. Claire nods to him as a thanks and runs away. He drives back to the bunker. When he gets there, Cas is gone.

"Where's Cas?" Dean asks. "He said that Clarie called out to him. He's gonna meet her somewhere." Dean nods.

"Is he coming back?" Dean asks. Dean hasn't been able to stop thinking about what Metatron said. It got to him. He knows it shouldn't have gotten to him 'cause Metatron's a no-good doushebag with wings, but it still did.

Castiel comes back to the bunker in good spirits a couple hours later. He walks to Dean who is at the long table with Sam.

"Thank you for seeing Clarie, Dean." Castiel says with a smile.

"You're welcome, Cas. It's the least I could do." Dean says faking a smile. He couldn't talk to Cas about what Metetron said with Sam in the room.

"How'd your meeting with Clarie go?" Sam asks.

"It went well. She still says she needs to be on her own, but she said that she's call every once in a while. I think Dean's coming to see her made a difference," Castiel says smiling at Dean.

"Cas, can I talk you?" Dean blurts out. Castiel looks surprised but nods. Dean gets up and goes to his room. Castiel follows not noticing the concerned look Sam was giving them. They enter the room.

"I'm sorry," Dean says after shutting the door behind them. Castiel gives a quizzical look. "I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry I ruined your life when you rescued me from Hell. You saved me and I repaid you with what? Pain? Suffering? You gave up your thoughts about Heaven. You forgot who you were. You took Lucifer into your head, lost you your mind, went to Purgatory. You freakin' became human! Now your slowly dying off of stollen grace and it's all my fault! I'm so d*mn sorry."

"Dean," Castiel says softly, "I hope you know that I don't regret anything accept for when I fail you."

"That's another thing!" Dean yells. Castiel gives him a look of concern. "You act like you care more about me then you do about yourself!"

"Isn't that what you do with Sam? Isn't that what you're doing with me?" Castiel says. Dean looks down.

"That's different. That's..." He starts.

"Family?" Cas says looking at Dean like he means the world to him, and maybe he does, "That's what we are. You taught me that. Without you, I wouldn't have known what that was. All I am to you is grateful for your love and friendship." Dean feels compelled to hug the angel, but he didn't have to because Castiel hugs him. Dean sinks into the hug drinking in the much-needed affection.

"Thanks, man." Dean says reluctantly letting go.

"You're welcome, Dean." Castiel says with a smile. Dean grins at him.

"Awwww," says Sam who's been there since the hug from the doorway. Dean glares at him. "Oh, I'm sorry. Was I interrupting something that would lead to a Destiel fanfic? Or was I interrupting something that would be a Destiel fanfic?"

"Shut up." Dean says.

"What is a 'Destiel fanfic?'" Castiel asks.

"Never ask that question," Dean says to Cas. "Never answer that question," he says more firmly to Sam, "ever!" Sam laughs.

"Well, I'm gonna go And leave you two alone. I would tell you to leave a tie on the door handle, but Cas doesn't wear a tie anymore." Sam says smirking as he leaves shutting the door.

"Why would we leave a-" Cas starts.

"Don't ask that question either!" Dean says walking out of his room leaving alone a very confused Castiel.


End file.
